Book Review of Chaos to Clarity by Marci Hopkins
A Discussion on Connecting the Disconnected to Jesus
by Hank Bitten
When I ordered the book Chaos to Clarity, I expected to write a review for educators to learn about the addictive behaviors that develop early in children as a result of the emphasis teachers place on perfection, parents who put their own needs and interests before their children, and the consequences of social media on our brains. What I found on Page 67 and following is the importance of confession, the need for spiritual development, understanding the forces of divine intervention in our ordinary lives, and the power of love, especially the love of Jesus in our lives in helping us to love others as we love ourselves.
Instead of writing a book review, I would like to share in this article a series of discussion questions based on quotations from the personal words of the author, Marci Hopkins. Marci Hopkins story begins in a suburb of Houston, Texas, extends to college in the area of Austin, Texas, employment in Denver, Colorado, and Los Angeles, California, and her home for the past 20 years in Wyckoff, New Jersey. Marci’s personal story is one of hardship as the divorce of her parents, remarriage of her mother, anger and alcohol, naivety, and intimacy, led her to be a victim of sinful behaviors focusing on her self-centered needs, several resilient attempts to overcome her challenges, and an understanding of faith in herself, others, and a calling of faith in Jesus Christ..
I cannot adequately articulate the spirit or depth of the spiritual importance of this book in this mode of printed communication. The best I can do is provide excerpts from her book with a context for a discussion. I will include the page numbers in the event that you purchase the book which is very affordable.
- What does God’s plan mean to you?
The first example of a reference to faith is expressed in the power of the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” (p.110). This simple prayer is credited to Reinhold Niebuhr in 1932 but may actually have its origins centuries earlier. It is a unique prayer because instead of asking God to intervene as the activist, it places personal responsibility on the individual in need of God’s help.
On page 154, Marci Hopkins expresses the power she receives through meditation as she becomes connected with God. “I feel like God is moving me in life. Daily, I am tapping into that connection to know my next move. I am using this awareness and grace to make a difference in the world and give a voice to other changemakers. I share all of this because you have this invitation, too.”
Questions:
- To what extent does the presence of God transcend everything in life that we may associate with religious beliefs or church as we know it?
- Does God speak to each of us in the same manner as a ‘calling to faith’ or in different ways at times when we are ‘facing the challenges of life?”
- Does God control all of our decisions and activities or only the decisions where we purposely seek His direction?
I found her explanation of how to answer the question of God’s plan in her life to be both something that I was not comfortable with and at the same time I began thinking about her explanation as having validity.
“There are many ways to ‘interpret ‘God’ and while the traditional Christian teachings work for some, this step can be a turn-off for many….One can be an atheist or agnostic and still work through this step. It’s a matter of looking around and recognizing what the ‘greater power’ is for them. Maybe it’s the stars at night or the depths of unexplored oceans. Maybe it’s the way nature recovers once it destroys something like in the case of natural disasters. What if it’s the power of a storm? The way the storm generates energy, organizes into a powerful force, then destroys, and just disappears leaving the birds to sing again. Often labels are used for ease of reference, and in this step, God is an easy word to use. If it doesn’t work, use a different word!” (Page 116)
I rejected this explanation because it minimized the powerful presence of an Almighty God whose love is unlimited and creative power is beyond human understanding. In my reflection of this excerpt, I thought of the metaphor of a boat with 100 people of different faiths praying to the higher power they understood as ‘God,’ If they were all saved, should I accept that their different gods were all responsible for their rescue or should the God who one person prayed to be credited with saving everyone on the boat? I began to think for an explanation and the one that came to me was the account in 1 Kings 18 when Elijah invited King Ahab and his priests to the mountain and they each prayed for fire. It was only the God of Israel, or Elijah’s God, that produced the fire! (1 Kings 18:1–41) What is your understanding of the above quote on Page 116?
- How important is the public or private confession of sin?
The debate over sin is nothing new as Christian and secular culture have debated this over the centuries. The attraction of popular preachers in colonial America, such as George Whitfield may have led to the conversion of tens of thousands of colonists while the denominational churches called for the training of clergy by programs approved by the Anglican, Reformed, and Presbyterian churches.
On Page 119, we see the impact of public confession. “This step caused such a pivotal shift in the quality of my life and relationships. This is where I surrendered my anger and opened myself to change my cycles. I opened fully to God (as I understand him) taking over. He took away my desire to drink, and day by day, as the fog lifted, I was able to see more clearly.
When I looked at my relationships, I saw my cycles, The patterns that I have been referring to for the entirety of this book were not clear to me until sobriety. Once I began the work of taking responsibility, I could see my behaviors and relationships. I saw how they began, carried on, and ended in a particular way. I saw the give and take in the relationship; I saw how I responded and pushed away.”
Although this next excerpt is written in the book before the above quote, it captures the joy of forgiveness, the complete removal of all guilt, memory, and the behaviors that separate us from the people we have a relationship with and the God who cares for us. “It is your willingness to be seen and heard that you finally feel seen, heard, and forgiven.”
Questions:
- How do you understand the confession of sin?
- Do you agree with Marci that confession begins with you or does it begin with God?
- Does repentance of one’s pain and behavior lead to confession or does faith in God need to come first and lead one to repentance and confession?
- Does the analogy of a teacher erasing a chalkboard provide an understanding of forgiveness or is it the washing to the chalkboard to remove all the chalk dust a more effective analogy?
- Does a person come to confession through another person or is it their own awareness of their hurtful behavior that is the catalyst?
One of the most profound statements in the book is on Page 121. “No matter where you may find fault, forgiveness is another key to your freedom and peace. Forgiveness is for yourself. Forgiveness does not mean you forget or excuse the harm done to you, but forgiveness brings you a kind of peace that helps you move forward in life.” Do you agree?
3. Is it important to love yourself?
In Mark 12: 30,31, we read, 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] There is no commandment greater than these.” In Chaos to Clarity, Marci Hopkins dedicates Chapter 23 to “Learning to Love Myself.” She reveals that this was one of the most challenging steps in the process of her recovery but also one that engaged her in constant prayer and communication with God.
“It is truly hard work. It’s the hardest work I’ve ever done, but my life is full of abundance because of it. Once I stopped masking who I was with alcohol, I started to blossom. I found happiness when I began reconnecting with the Marci I lost many years ago. This made was for an entirely new life experience and not spiraling out of control every time I was confronted afforded me a chance to create forward momentum in my life.” (pp. 129-130)
Questions:
- How do you understand the meaning of loving your neighbor as yourself?
- How do you understand loving your spouse, child, parent, sibling, (or anyone close to you)?
- The sentence above prompted me to think of life as one with different chapters. Perhaps understanding life in the perspective of chronological years is less accurate than viewing our lives in the perspective of spiritual and emotional development. How have pivotal or turning point events in life enabled you to grow emotionally and spiritually?
- Where do we see Jesus in our daily life?
Have you experienced something unusual in your life? In the days following the Attack on America, there were many examples of reports of someone who missed their train, had a meeting cancelled, or something happened that prevented them from being in the World Trade Center at the time of the attacks. Unfortunately, there were approximately 3,000 lives that were lost and nothing unusual changed their daily routine that day. MY personal experience is that I avoid sharing these supernatural encounters in my life and yet I can likely name more than a dozen times when I felt Jesus (or God, angels, or something I could not explain) happened to me. For example, in February,1968 the plane I was on made an emergency landing at O’Hare Airport because the landing gear was not properly positioned. I was in the last row of the plan and next to me were two experienced pilots who guided me through the landing and emergency exit.
Marci Hopkins explains her supernatural encounter on pp. 142-43: “I was sure I was done one day in June 2017 when I had a bad informercial shoot. Everything seemed to go wrong, and I didn’t have any energy for that anymore. It was a series of mishaps and challenges, and it was a terrible day overall. I felt defeated, and I was ready to call it quits. The old me would have turned to drinking but the new me chalked it up to a bad day at the office. I went home and put my work to work. I thought to myself, ‘Okay, I had a bad day, but how do I want to react to this bad day’?
Instead of drinking, I went to bed. In the middle of the night, I woke up thinking about it and made a pros and cons list of giving up my acting career. After making that list, I decided to call my agent in the morning and let her know I was done.
I rolled over with a sense of relief know that I was done with modeling and acting. As I did that, I felt something sort of sharp and picked it up. Wondering what it was, I sat up quickly and turned the light on to check it out. Oddly, and very out of nowhere, there was my modeling business card, in my bed: the card that I hadn’t used in over a year!
She writes about a dragon fly (p. 134), the sale of her house after a year, the appearance of a ladybug, a tile with the picture of a child, a missing work of art in her home, and a feather. (pp. 169-173).
Questions:
- Do we live in a three-dimensional world or are we living in a world with four or five dimensions?
- How do you explain the impossible events in your life?
- Do you believe in all things visible and invisible?
In the Nicene Creed, Christians have professed for 18 centuries that they believe in all things visible and invisible. Marci Hopkins explains her understanding of this Creed on Page 164: “You are always surrounded by the harmony of the Universe. You are steeped in miracles, and when you open your eyes, ears, and heart to the magic of it all that it becomes obvious.”
“One of the strangest ways the Source tried to reach me was in the winter of 2019. Ray was traveling so I was home alone with the kids that weekend and they were already asleep. Late one evening, I woke up to let our dog, Lucky, out. Practically sleep walking, I made my way back into the house. When we walked back in, our other dog, Cody, needed to go out, so I leashed him up and headed back out.
By then, I was just a bit more awake, but ready to get back to bed. When I came back with Cody, I was started by what I saw. In the hallway, where I had just walked through to take both dogs out, my work bag was sitting on the floor in the middle of the hallway.
Not only was my workbag inexplicably relocated, but my jacket that was previously hung up in the mudroom was placed on top of my work bag and it looked like a feather lying across the top of it. I was jolted fully awake by this and had the very clear thought that everything I was up to in my life and show were going exactly as they were supposed to.
I get goosebumps all over again as I write this because there is no explanation, other than God, that moved that bag and jacket to catch my attention.” (Page 165)
Questions:
- How do you understand miracles?
- Is your understanding of heaven something that is visible or invisible?
- If different chemicals affect the development of our brains and our behaviors does the Word of God also have an affect on our behavior?
Chaos to Clarity is a book about a personal struggle the author experienced over 30 years. It is a self-help book regarding the process of recovery from abuse, neglect, disappointment, and resilience. It is also a personal witness of faith and the importance of spiritual growth through then individual chapters in our journey in this life through childhood, adolescence, college, career, relationships, marriage, parenting, and a foundation for the chapters that still need to be written.
For those who understand religion or church as a curriculum of planned activities to follow, the thread to follow in Chaos to Clarity suggests that faith in God is a very personal encounter that is nurtured through relationships, prayer, communication, and studying the Word(s) of God. This personal encounter is nurtured through discussion which is the purpose of this review.
Whether you discuss these suggested questions with one or two friends, with family members including children, or in a small group,
Bible 500 